cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas
me: you said i got one phone call
curves on women are great, but curves on final exams are really what get me going
The reason Canadians are so nice is easily explained. Once a year, on the sixth full moon all Canadian’s gather beneath the stars and perform a ritual that sucks all their meanness and cruelty and places it in Canadian Geese.
the only nation i will ever rule is procrastination
imagine being in ravenclaw and going back to your common room stumbling drunk in the middle of the night after a magical night of partying and having to answer a fucking riddle in order to get in your own goddamn bedroom
"what gets wetter and wetter the more it dries"
"your mom eeyyyyyyy"
youd need a designated answerer instead of driver