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Posted on 26th Jul at 12:31 PM, with 366,422 notes

rnicrophone:

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

image

Posted on 26th Jul at 12:28 PM, with 101,066 notes

terapsina:

horseskeepmesane:

She literally got a drink of water and then walked over to my boots and spit the water in them.

Was it revenge for the braids?

Posted on 26th Jul at 12:28 PM, with 97,717 notes
ahsadler:

that was wild from start to finish
View high resolution

ahsadler:

that was wild from start to finish

Posted on 26th Jul at 12:24 PM, with 43 notes
"I’m not entirely certain
of what the rain is. But I identify
myself somehow with the chaotic
splashes of raindrops in the same
way I make scrambled eggs
to suit my state of mind.
The sound of the rain is comforting
maybe because it feels like
someone is crying where I forgot
to. Or maybe because it’s
nice to know there’s such a
thing as harmless chaos - outside
my head, as well."
Christian M Hey, from ‘Fig. 1: Missing’ (via lionsfear)
Posted on 23rd Jul at 10:00 PM, with 228,627 notes

arctichunkies:

curves on women are great, but curves on final exams are really what get me going

Posted on 23rd Jul at 9:59 PM, with 26,272 notes

factsofcanada:

The reason Canadians are so nice is easily explained. Once a year, on the sixth full moon all Canadian’s gather beneath the stars and perform a ritual that sucks all their meanness and cruelty and places it in Canadian Geese.

Posted on 13th Jul at 9:05 PM, with 140,808 notes

corn-abuse:

cozyqueen:

bruh porn titles be so extra and so outta line like u got shit like “HORNY TIGHT ASIAN TEEN GAGS ON MONSTER COCK” like relax why u so loud & specific.

Slightly young woman uses her mouth and other orifices to arouse moderately-sized man’s diddly-doo

Posted on 13th Jul at 8:22 PM, with 110,394 notes

lindsaylohoean:

the only nation i will ever rule is procrastination

Posted on 27th May at 10:33 PM, with 315,896 notes

iamcompletelyhysterekal:

neilpatrickheaven:

crystallinedemons:

imagine being in ravenclaw and going back to your common room  stumbling drunk in the middle of the night after a magical night of partying and having to answer a fucking riddle in order to get in your own goddamn bedroom

"what gets wetter and wetter the more it dries"
"your mom eeyyyyyyy"

youd need a designated answerer instead of driver

Posted on 27th May at 9:49 PM, with 145,060 notes
bryko:

AN ACTUAL SLIDE FROM NINTENDO’S 2003 E3 PRESS CONFERENCE

bryko:

AN ACTUAL SLIDE FROM NINTENDO’S 2003 E3 PRESS CONFERENCE

Start
00:00 AM